Energy level: sloth
Pain level: 4 - 8 keep the meds and ice coming!
It’s been five days since surgery and five days since I’ve make the trek to the water closet, which is exactly 50 feet away. I lament “If only I had a wheel chair, I could make it!” JP, in a stroke of genius, brings me an office chair that should be glide over the hardwood floors. The trick is to propel oneself with one leg while keeping the other leg elevated.
I discover that a base of five wheels turns a straight shot into a zig-zag trail. An attempt to enlist gliding action evolves bouncing off of walls like a pin ball.
I make it!
Victory!
Relief!
Now comes the challenge of peeing with one leg elevated. I never realized how important keeping both feet on the ground has been to aim straight. Now I know.
Just as I am relishing in my victory and relief I feel a fire creeping down my foot. I have got to keep that foot above my head to counteract gravity. Elevating the foot just below heart level only slows the inevitable.
I go for my second ride in the early evening. The fire floods my foot quicker this time and I am screaming in agonizing pain as I finish my business and transfer from the toilet to the “wheel chair”.
JP just so happens to come home at the very moment my screams echo though the house. He runs to my rescue, but there is nothing that he can do. It is only pain. He pushes me back to my nest on the couch. Office chair rides are fun!
It is so strange how this pain goes from zero to maximum in a flash and then back to zero with simple elevation.
JP brings me some ice and we talk. I reluctantly state that I don’t want to be hero.
We both agree that it’s back to the bucket.
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